Tune up your EQ

A group of construction workers will certainly feel very
proud during the opening ceremony for the Cricket World Cup in Jamaica on March 11th. They’ll know that those lucky enough to be at the Greenfield Multi-Purpose Complex will be enjoying the spectacle because of their hard work, focus and perseverance. Read the rest of this entry »

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Every week, I write 3 original articles that help you improve your Emotional Intelligence. If you're new here, feel free to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

Law # 4 No-one can make me upset, angry, happy etc.

How to take charge of yourself
When you practice the first three Laws you take charge of your feelings and behaviour. You can choose how you feel and you can manage your moods.

You’ll become more conscious of your self-talk, the messages that you are constantly sending yourself. You have ther ability to send yourself positive messages. As Norman Vincent Peale taught, thoughts are things. As you become more aware of what you are thinking and feeling, you will be able to catch and correct any negative thought processes that you may slip into.

Put you heart into the change

As you choose your thoughts you’re able to generate the optimism that is necessary to bring about positive changes in your life. How can you ever expect to eliminate bad habits unless you genuinely believe that you can?

Can you see that following Law #4 gives you the opportunity of moving on with positive change?

What will you gain as you step forward boldly?

What will you leave behind?

Law # 5 is next.

Download How To Build A World Cup Cricket Stadium With Emotional Intelligence in pdf format

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Law # 3 I always have choices about how I respond to situations, events and people.

Short and sweet

When we harness our self awareness we remain in touch with how we feel. We manage ourselves and direct our behaviour by channelling our emotions.

This Law follows logically once you make a habit of living according the Law #1 and Law #2.

How will it feel when you consistently practice Law #3?

Law #4 follows.

Download How To Build A World Cup Cricket Stadium With Emotional Intelligence in pdf format

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Law #2 I am responsible for my own behaviour

Automatic responses to stimuli can be dangerous

Whilst we may sympathise with the taximan’s emotional whirlwind in Law #1, his reckless actions exposed him and other drivers and pedestrians to a very dangerous situation.

Perhaps his recklessness was triggered by feelings of heartbreak and despair.

The stimulus - response connection

He moved automatically from the stimulus (emotional confusion) to response (recklessness) without processing how his dangerous driving could endanger his life and the lives of other people.

This graphic below shows that when you respond automatically to a stimulus your behaviour is predictable.

This may serve us well in an emergency, for example when you leap over a wall to escape a rabid dog. However, many of the situations that you face in life aren’t so clear cut. You therefore should carefully consider how you respond to each situation.

The Law in practice

The taximan story is an extreme example, and you might say “that could never happen to me.” But what about the times when you say;

“my friend ruined my day”

my boss is making my life a misery.”

When you say these things, you’re buying into the big lie that other people are responsible for how you behave.

The people around you may try to influence, force or encourage you to act in a certain way,but no-one can dictate to you how you should behave unless you allow them to. Once you consistently practice the second Law, you have a powerful springboard for making more effective choices in your life.

How would it feel if you always took responsibility for your behaviour?

What positive changes would you bring about in your life if you
consistently followed my second Law of Emotional Intelligence?

Download Galba Bright’s 7 Laws of Emotional Intelligence in pdf format

Are you ready for the 3rd Law?

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How to avoid an EQ overload
There are probably thousands of books about Emotional Intelligence and I suspect you’re too busy to read them all. Would you like me to share my understanding of the essence of Emotional Intelligence with you in short series of posts?

Yes?
Great!! Let’s get going.

Galba Bright’s 7 Laws of Emotional Intelligence.

Law #1: I am responsible for my own feelings

Uncontrollable emotions are dangerous

A taxi-driver in Jamaica once told me an unforgettable story of how, after he broke up with his girlfriend, he drove through a series of red traffic lights on a major highway.

He’d been overpowered by his emotions and acted automatically. Mercifully he lived to tell me the story and, miraculously, no-one was injured.

As we chatted, it was clear that the taxi-driver’s self control had snapped. He hadn’t taken responsibility for how he was feeling. Could you ever imagine yourself driving in this way?

Probably not.

Yet do you manage your emotions perfectly? I know that I certainly don’t.

How does this Law make you feel?

Law #1 is both an opportunity and a challenge. It’s an opportunity, because if, you live by this principle, you’ll understand that you are a powerful person. You’ll see a vivid picture of the person that you can become. As you become emotionally committed to this picture, your journey of transformation will accelerate.

This Law can also be a horrifying challenge. Once you’re no longer able to blame other people for how you feel, you won’t be able to escape the burden of your personal responsibility.

The Law in practice

The key to practicing this Law is to be conscious of how you are feeling. Your self awareness is a precious resource. Deep breathing, counting to 10 and taking a break are examples of helpful ways to help you maintain your self awareness.

Are you ready for the challenge?

What are the risks?

How will you benefit when you accept this challenge?

Are you ready for Law #2?

Download Galba Bright’s 7 Laws of Emotional Intelligence in pdf format

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