Galba Bright’s 7 Laws of Emotional Intelligence : Law #2
February 21st, 2007 by Galba Bright
Law #2 I am responsible for my own behaviour
Automatic responses to stimuli can be dangerous
Whilst we may sympathise with the taximan’s emotional whirlwind in Law #1, his reckless actions exposed him and other drivers and pedestrians to a very dangerous situation.
Perhaps his recklessness was triggered by feelings of heartbreak and despair.
The stimulus - response connection
He moved automatically from the stimulus (emotional confusion) to response (recklessness) without processing how his dangerous driving could endanger his life and the lives of other people.
This graphic below shows that when you respond automatically to a stimulus your behaviour is predictable.
This may serve us well in an emergency, for example when you leap over a wall to escape a rabid dog. However, many of the situations that you face in life aren’t so clear cut. You therefore should carefully consider how you respond to each situation.
The Law in practice
The taximan story is an extreme example, and you might say “that could never happen to me.” But what about the times when you say;
“my friend ruined my day”
my boss is making my life a misery.”
When you say these things, you’re buying into the big lie that other people are responsible for how you behave.
The people around you may try to influence, force or encourage you to act in a certain way,but no-one can dictate to you how you should behave unless you allow them to. Once you consistently practice the second Law, you have a powerful springboard for making more effective choices in your life.
How would it feel if you always took responsibility for your behaviour?
What positive changes would you bring about in your life if you
consistently followed my second Law of Emotional Intelligence?
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This work is published under a Creative Commons
Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
Posted in 7 Laws of Emotional Intelligence, Anger Management, Emotional Intelligence 101, Emotional Intelligence, Competencies, Managing Yourself, Blog, Self Awareness |
