The 3 Top Ways To Tune Up Your Emotional Intelligence
March 11th, 2007 by Galba Bright
How to be responsible for your feelings
As I began writing the 7 Laws of Emotional Intelligence series, Ellen Weber, a member of this community asked me:
“In your opinion - what is the best tactic to help people to reflect on personal change rather than slip into the blame trap? Thoughts?”
I replied in the comment section that I found that investing time to reflect on my experiences was the best tactic that I know of. I promised to write about my 3 favourite tools for reflection and that’s what this post is about.
Tool #1 Sunday Reflection Programme
At beginning of the year, I decided to do something new.
Every week I look at key dimensions of my life and make notes on the week’s events. I identify patterns in my behaviour and use what I learn to try to become a better person. On the last Sunday of each month, I review the weekly reflections for the month just ended. I’ve adapted this tool from an approach that I learnt about in a CD by motivational speaker Jim Rohn . As I write this, in early March 2007, I’m really looking forward to the first quarterly review :).
Tool #2 Ellen Weber’s Handout “Use Your Business Beliefs For Business Breakthroughs.”
Ellen lists 10 business beliefs and demonstrates the behaviour that is consistent with each belief. Here’s an example:
“if we believe that lifelong learning is the opposite of pessimism and cynicism.”
the corresponding behaviour would be
“Live the motto - we can change things together …and we can be the best”
This handout is on my wall in my office. It reminds me of my core values. It helps me to focus on the importance of acting with integrity.
Tool #3 A handout by Ed Brenegar, called “The Four Questions That Every Leader Must Ask”
My chosen vocation of helping people increase their Emotional Intelligence is an unusual one. It takes different twists and turns every day. I find that a broad map helps me understand where I am on this leaning journey.
Ed’s 4 questions help me to keep me on track. He asks
What is our impact?
Who are we impacting?
What opportunities do we have now?
What Problems have we created?
Ed’s questions are mixed with some lively graphics and I have the handout on the wall in my office. You can download the handout by clicking on the link on Ed’s blog homepage.
These are the three top tools that I use to try take responsibility for my life and avoid falling into the blame trap. Thanks for your question Ellen. It certainly gave me some new insights.
The bottom line
My recommended tools are based on tried and tested ideas that wise people have developed and used with great success.
There are more wise people around than you could ever imagine. It’s much easier for you to find, adapt and use their tools than any other time in history.
You simply have to be prepared to invest the energy in understanding their wisdom and applying their insights and ideas in a way that is meaningful for you.
What tools do you use to avoid th blame trap?
Do you think reflection could help you?
Please comment in the comment box below.
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Posted in Reflection, Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Tools For Transformation, Anger Management, Emotional Intelligence, Managing Yourself, Tune Up Your Emotional Intelligence Workbook, Blog, Self Awareness |
