Tune up your EQ

It is with deep regret that the family and friends of Galba Bright wish to inform you of Galba’s untimely passing.

Galba Francis Adeyinka Bright, Human Resource Consultant and Author, died at his office on March 31 of natural causes, leaving his wife Sandra, numerous family members, friends, associates, readers and fans.

Out of respect, the Tune up your EQ website created by Galba will therefore be offline for a short period.

We thank you for your understanding at this time and appreciate the interest you have shown in Galba’s work and ideas.

Should you wish to post comments about the personal impact of Galba’s thoughts and writings, please feel free to click here or go to his blog.

The Service of Thanksgiving for the life of Galba Bright will be held at St. John’s Methodist Church, Montego Bay, Jamaica, at 1.00 pm on Sunday, April 19, followed by interment in Dovecot of St. James Memorial Park, Orange, St. James.

How To Take Charge of Your Emotions In 4 Simple Stages

October 30th, 2007 by Galba Bright

Anyone can become angry-that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to theright degree, at the righttime, for the right purpose, and in the right way - this is not easy.

Aristotle: The Nicomachean Ethics

(quoted at the beginning of Daniel Goleman’s best seller “Emotional Intelligence”)

Do you recognise these 4 stages of emotional management?

In Stage 1, your emotions dominate your behaviour, often with serious consequnces. Zinedine Zidane’s Emotional Intelligence Hot Spot in the 2006 World Cup Final is a well-known example. This talented soccer player lost his self-control in a stressful situation.

In Stage 2, you begin to manage your emotions. Sometimes you succeeed. At other times, you fail miserably.

Get beyond this stage, by adopting and practising a deliberate method. Having a systematic approach helps you to learn on purpose.

In Stage 3, you really begin to take care of yourself :). For example, I used 5 reflective questions to learn from my Emotional Intelligence Hot Spot.

I like Jean Browman’s list of eight questions from the Unwiring Our Emotional Buttons article.

1. What was the situation?
2. What did I do?
3. What were my feelings?
4. What were my thoughts/assumptions?
5. What was the positive intention behind my reaction?
6. What needs/desires were left unsatisfied?
7. What might I have done instead?
8. What did I learn from the experience?

When you consistently practice your method you acquire a new, more positive, habit.

After a while, you’re barely conscious of your approach. As Jean says:

“I’ve been doing this long enough now, though, that I don’t use the list consciously.”

You can become quite nonchalant, but you only reach the giddy heights of Stage 3 by deliberate committment and purposeful learning.

I’m curious to know what you think. Do you know anyone who is at Stage 4? If “yes”, how did they get there? how do they maintain it?

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