Tune up your EQ

“EQ or [applied] Emotional Intelligence is not just important to me …it is essential ! A knife can be used to create a work of art or it can do great damage. Thus, it is equally so for intelligence. To truly make a work of art we can use a saw to cut the wood to length and then a fine chisel to fashion it further. The point is clear we do not just use one tool all the time.”

Ray Hobby, Tune up your EQ reader and contributor.

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In this series, I ask Ray Hobby why, as a person with a high IQ, he earns his living by encouraging people to improve their emotional intelligence.

First, I asked Ray how he discovered that he possessed a high IQ. Her’s what he told me:

“I am of the generation of schoolchildren who were ‘vetted’ for secondary education by the [now doubtful] ‘virtue’ of the 11-Plus. This was fundamentally an IQ test plus a few bits that were intended to sift out the ‘top 20%’, or so, for the Grammar School. In colloquial terms, if you ‘passed’ you went to the grammar school, if you ‘failed’ you went to the secondary modern school. I FAILED !”

“For the next 5 years I went through an education that was OK, but, let’s face it, I was labelled ‘a failure’ - so what was the point of striving to learn…?”

“I was 18 and completing an electrician’s apprenticeship when I met a maths lecturer – Reg Dawkins – who was my salvation. [I am now 61, so the fact that I remember his name IS significant]. This man made mathematics ‘sing’ for me and, better late than never, I was hooked on learning.”

“Perhaps the fact that I was working on high voltage systems and needed to accurately calculate electro- technology factors to avoid a buzz in cable and fingers was another motivator, but, at last, I saw the justification for learning. I WAS A FAILURE NO MORE !Hence, I am ‘a late-developer’, which is a euphemism for ‘a lazy boy at school’ or, perhaps more likely, someone who has not been ‘educationally switched on’ ! ”

“Do you know someone like that…?”

“It was predominantly for those feelings that after graduating in engineering I later became a teacher – a maths teacher, of course - so that I could fire the imaginations and minds of children with a love of maths …and of learning, too.”

“To really answer the question - in turn, I discovered that I possessed the academic ability to successfully achieve in tests and national examination standards to distinction at degree level […and later to post-graduate level]. With that fresh confidence and a certain level of bloody-mindedness my career developed with an early promotional appointment as Head of Mathematics Department and further promotion to Head of Sixth Form, both in a ‘new’ non-selective school, developing from scratch and then to senior Deputy Headmaster of a large and successful comprehensive school.”

“Note - ‘non-selective’ and ‘comprehensive school’s – with no selection by ‘ability’ at 11-years-of-age, which gave all children, especially the ‘late developers’ a chance to ‘catch up’ and improve.”

“It was then at the age of 39, coupled with a real determination to rid myself of the ‘chip on my shoulder’ I had been given as a child, that I took the Mensa test, perhaps aggressively, to finally ‘prove them wrong’ and ‘because it was there’ and found that I had a significantly high IQ.”

In the next article in the series, Ray decribes the 3 most significant ways that having a high IQ has affected his life.

Download the entire series in pdf format now.

More Insights From Ray Hobby

Is EQ Old or New?
Is EQ Old or New?, Part 2

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Every week, I write 3 original articles that help you improve your Emotional Intelligence. If you're new here, feel free to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

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Ray Hobby, my online friend and fellow EQ fan from England shared his personal experience about how he seeks to balance his high IQ with his EQ.

Here’s how Ray introduced his answers to my 5 questions.

” Hi Galba
Here are ‘my answers’ to 5 questions for the forthcoming series.

The preamble…
I feel it is a compliment to be asked to give a response for the ‘Me and My High IQ’ series, but it is also quite a heavy responsibility. I am a member of Mensa, which simply […?] means that you have to attain an IQ score above 148 in the very demanding Cattell supervised test. In a ‘normal distribution’ that statistically defines the top 2% of the population and my score is significantly above that.

I have been psychometricated in various tests during my career. I use the term ‘psychometricated’ as a humorous outlet, since I could have glibly said ‘decimated’ when I really meant something more like ‘micromated’. Suffice it to say that I have subjected myself – willingly - to psychometric inspection in an attempt to gain information about ‘me’. The ‘results’ from these ‘tests’ have indicated some consensus, although they vary in conclusion and recommendation from ‘good’ to ‘ridiculous’.

In reality this means that if ‘I agree’, they are ‘good’ and if I ‘do not agree’, they are ridiculous. That may sound flippant, but for me [and any other responsible IQ or EQ testee] that HAS to be ‘a reality’, otherwise the ’result’ appears omnipotent …and it is FAR from that. It is for this reason that now after 30 years of involvement in ‘IQ testing’ and over 10 years involvement in ‘EQ testing’ a single figure covertly ‘stamped on your bottom’ or overtly ‘stamped on your head’ resulting from these tests is almost meaningless and potentially dangerously misleading.

To put that comparability into perspective we do well to consider Howard Gardner’s ‘Multiple Intelligences’. I leave it to the reader to find more detail of this for themselves, since it is not directly part of the scope of this series, but suffice it to say that Gardner has defined 8 forms of Intelligence. IQ or Intellectual intelligence is generally made up of verbal/linguistic intelligence, logical/mathematical intelligence and a bit of spatial intelligence. EQ or Emotional Intelligence is made up of interpersonal intelligence and intrapersonal intelligence. This therefore suggests that any test under these credentials is therefore bound to be incomplete, since no account is taken of the – musical, kinaesthetic, environmental [or the later inclusion of spiritual] intelligences.

This understanding [I won’t say ‘conclusion’ because I’m still (and always will be) thinking about it] has been arrived at after some sustained research, collation and reading, together with some stimulating discussion with people who work in the relevant areas.
It is, however, the reason why I hold very dear that a counsellor / coach / mentor or ‘consultant friend’ - properly informed and aware of the importance of applied Emotional Intelligence – can be far better than ‘a processed test’ in the hands of a ‘mechanic’. It may well be that the topics in the tests may form an agenda for an honest and searching discussion, but they can be handled differently …and, I believe, more appropriately.”

The 6 remaining articles in this series will be posted during the next 4 weeks. Leave your comments in the comment box below, or email me, using the contact form.

Download the entire series in pdf format now.

More Insights From Ray Hobby

Is EQ Old or New?
Is EQ Old or New?, Part 2

Tune up your EQ Tip:

Get in touch with yourself by reflecting on your eexperiences.

More Resources

Enjoy Steve Olsen’s Understanding Intelligence-Best Resources List

View this slideshow about Howard Gardner and Multiple Intelligence

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” My high IQ is an asset, but I have found that on its own it can be a liability. It needs the balance of EQ.”

Ray Hobby, Tune up your EQ reader and contributor.

Flickr Photo Credit:aeu04117.
Creative Commons Attribution License

3 Curious IQ/EQ Questions

1. How does MENSA member and former Senior Deputy Headmaster, Ray Hobby make the most of his high IQ?

2. What inspired him to develop his emotional intelligence?

3. Why does he now earn his living helping others to apply emotional intelligence principles to their lives?

5 questions for Ray Hobby

My online friend and collaborator, Ray Hobby has generously agreed to share his personal experience with us. He are the 5 questions that I asked him:

1. How did you discover that you possess a High IQ?
2. What are the 3 most significant ways that having a high IQ has affected your life?
3. What are the pros and cons of having a high IQ?
4. What tips would you give to someone to help them make the most of their IQ?
5. Why is EQ/EI important to you?

He stresses that his story is a personal explanation about how he aims to live a balanced life. He emphasises that he’s not offering definitive answers.

What’s Your EQ/IQ Story?

Some see an IQ score as the definitive indicator of how successful a person will be in life. The higher your IQ, the greater your likely success. Many fans of EQ feel that emotional intelligence holds the key to achievement.

We all have an IQ score. We also have a level of emotional intelligence. How well do we understand how the two relate?

I hope this series will help you think about the connection between your IQ and EQ and how it affects how you live. You may want to answer one or more of the 5 questions. Feel free to leave your comments in the comment box below, or email me, using the contact form.

Download the entire series in pdf format now.

I will post the series in 7 additional articles.

More Insights From Ray Hobby

Is EQ Old or New?
Is EQ Old or New?, Part 2

Tune up your EQ Tip:

Cultivate your self awareness to understand the relationship between IQ and EQ, factors which people often falsely present as opposites.

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Enjoy Steve Olsen’s Understanding Intelligence-Best Resources List

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How does this make you feel?

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A Sense of Purpose Is Compelling

What’s more important to you? Ticking off the items on your to-do list , or taking steps to fulfill your purpose ?

To-do lists are deadly when you deal with them in isolation. Paying attention to your to-do list before you’ve considered your purpose is like starting a blog before you choose a blogging platform.

In this article in the Make 2008 Great series, I’m going to reveal how I discovered the purpose of my life. I hope that it will encourage you to consider whether knowing your purpose is important to you. Once you decide, you’ll become more focussed about what you must do to make 2008 your best year ever

How I Discovered My Life Purpose

In 1991, I reached my conclusion.

During a troubling period in my life, I read the book What Colour Is Your Parachute?, A Practical Guide For Job Hunters and Career Changers . Richard Nelson Bolles’ book stirred powerful emotions of hope and clarity in me. I felt that I could do anything I put my mind to.

Have you ever had that feeling?

As I worked my way through the exercises in the book, I remembered that I had first experienced that tremendous feeling of empowerment back in 1989. That’s when I attended a Senior Manager’s Training Programme provided by my then employers in England.

By the end of that course, I had developed a burning desire make a career out of giving other people powerful learning experiences. That fire within me has been quelled from time to time, but it’s never gone out.

Today, its raging fiercely

What Colour Is Your Parachute encourages you to write a series of personal stories. They help you uncover your values, identify your strengths and weaknesses and discover the kind of work environments that you most enjoy. You use this inventory to find your chosen job or vocation.

I followed Richard Nelson Bolles’ wise advice. It changed my life forever.

What I Learned

Here’s my life purpose:

“The meaning of my life is to fulfill myself by helping other people to achieve their potential”

It’s the reference point for everything I do. It’s burned in my heart.

What Colour Is Your Parachute? warns that sometimes you experience the exhilaration of reaching the mountaintop. At other times, you must labour in the valley. You can’t reach the mountaintop without applying yourself in the valley.

As the writer says:

“At some point in your life your Mission may involve some grand mountaintop experience, where you say to yourself, ‘This, this is why I came into the world. I know it. I know it’ But until until then, your mission is here in the valley, and in the fog, and the little callings, moment by moment, day by day……If you aren’t trying to bring more gratitude, kindness, forgiveness, honesty and love into the world each day, you can hardly expect that you will be entrusted with the Mission to help bring peace into the world or anything else large and important. If we do not live out our day-by-day Mission in the valley, we cannot expect we are yet ready for a larger mountaintop Mission.”

In a future Make 2008 Great series article, I’ll share my favourite mountain top experience of 2007.

3 Ways That Your Purpose Relates To Making 2008 Your Best Year Ever

1. A sense of purpose is like having a personal laser. The intense beam of light gives your life focus. You’re able to discern the steps you must take to make progress. You also decide what you must stop doing. Once you empty out the mental litter, you liberate yourself to make 2008 great.

2. It’s also a compass, because it gives you a sense of direction. It points you where you need to go, even when you’re full of uncertainty. True north never shifts. The device assures you that the fear, uncertainty and doubt that you experience when you don’t achieve your goal will soon fade away, just as the ice melts when Spring arrives.

Here’s a great question to ask yourself when concern and confusion kick in:

“Is the fundamental course that I’m taking correct?”

If it is, keep moving towards true north. If not, consider what adjustments you need to make.

3. A sense of purpose is like a powerful electrical generator. It produces power when the lights go out. When you plug yourself in, you’re able to bounce back and take positive action.

You experience deep joy when you move towards your purpose.

Next Steps

Whether or not you decide to develop a purpose for your life is entirely up to you. It’s not a competition. It’s all about how you choose to look at life

If you want to develop or re-discover your purpose, I recommend What Colour Is Your Parachute . I’m not affiliated with the author. My tip is based on my life experience.

Download How To Make 2008 Your Best Year Ever-22 Energizing Emotional Intelligence Tips

View the How To Make 2008 Your Best Year Ever By Managing Your Emotions Presentation

I’m curious to know. Is having a purpose for your life important to you? What books, tools and resources have you used to discover your purpose? Please leave details in the comment box below, or email me, using the contact form.

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