Tune up your EQ

“By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.”

Confucius

Last week’s comments about reflection by Beth Ann Robinson from the Inventing Elephants Blog,Jo Jordan from the Flowing Motion Blog , Steve Roesler from the All Things Workplace Blog and Tori from MindTweaks raised some interesting ideas about reflection.

Here are 3 simple questions to help you think about how you reflect:

1. What reflective tools do you use?

2. Does your blog influence how you reflect?

3. Have you ever changed your reflection type?

To kick things off, here are my answers to these 3 questions.

1. What reflective tools do you use?

Blogs Tune up your EQ and 3 private personal blogs, including a gratitude blog.

Other Tools A mini filofax notebook, as well as ruled paper pads of various sizes. Occasionally, I meditate.

2. Does your blog influence how you reflect?

Writing this blog helps me to become more aware of my thought processes. The discipline of writing helps me to organise my thoughts.

Readers’ comments give me a lot of valuable ideas, information and insights to reflect on. An example is last year’s Essence of Emotional Intelligence presentation and article series, which was based on readers’ comments.

3.Have you ever changed your reflection type?

I reflect more as I grow older.

Looking back ;), I suspect I’ve always been a serial reflector.

I’d like to become a master reflector. It fits my temperament, helps my personal development and is critical to the development of my business.

How About You?

Answer 1 or more of these questions in the comment box, or email me with your response. Write a blog post based on these 3 questions and link back to Tune up your EQ, so we can all see the range of responses.

Thank you, Jo Jordan Flowing Motion Blog and Tori from MindTweaks for suggesting that I dig a little deeper into the topic of reflection.

More Resources

Download The What Type Of Reflector Are You? Presentation In pdf format

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Every week, I write 3 original articles that help you improve your Emotional Intelligence. If you're new here, feel free to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

Is your life running at a faster pace in 2008 than last year? Did an extra day in February slow things down for you at all? Will you have to move even faster to make 2008 your best year ever?

Enjoy a little thinking time.

What Is Reflection?

Reflection occurs when you apply conscious thought or consideration to a past activity or experience. Writing a journal is a reflective workout for some. Meditation mellows the minds of many. Prayer strengthens some peoples’ contemplative muscle.

What Type Of A Reflector Are You?

Which of these 5 statements fits you best?

1. I’m busy getting things done. Sitting down and thinking is a waste of time. I don’t “do” reflection.

2. I rarely take a pause. It never changes what I decide to do anyway. I’m a skeptical reflector.

3. Now and again I consciously think about what I can learn from my past experiences. Sometimes it’s worthwhile. I’m an occasional reflector.

4. Every week I stand back from what I’ve done or experienced. It helps make act more effectively. I’m a regular reflector.

5. Every day I deliberately think about my experiences and what I’ve learned. I also schedule monthly, quarterly and annual sessions with myself. I’m serial reflector.

I’m curious to know. Does one of these statements apply to you, or do you describe yourself differently? Please leave a comment, or email me, using the contact form.

To think and learn about reflection, read the Tune up your EQ Reflection article archive.

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Steve Roesler, from the All Things Workplace Blog kindly invited me to write a series of articles for his blog. I’d love you to join me at All Things Workplace for 13 Emotional Intelligence Questions Every Leader Must Ask. You can read Part 1 of the 4 part series here.

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“EQ or [applied] Emotional Intelligence is not just important to me …it is essential ! A knife can be used to create a work of art or it can do great damage. Thus, it is equally so for intelligence. To truly make a work of art we can use a saw to cut the wood to length and then a fine chisel to fashion it further. The point is clear we do not just use one tool all the time.”

Ray Hobby, Tune up your EQ reader and contributor.

Flickr Photo Credit:aeu04117.
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In this series, I ask Ray Hobby why, as a person with a high IQ, he earns his living by encouraging people to improve their emotional intelligence.

First, I asked Ray how he discovered that he possessed a high IQ. Her’s what he told me:

“I am of the generation of schoolchildren who were ‘vetted’ for secondary education by the [now doubtful] ‘virtue’ of the 11-Plus. This was fundamentally an IQ test plus a few bits that were intended to sift out the ‘top 20%’, or so, for the Grammar School. In colloquial terms, if you ‘passed’ you went to the grammar school, if you ‘failed’ you went to the secondary modern school. I FAILED !”

“For the next 5 years I went through an education that was OK, but, let’s face it, I was labelled ‘a failure’ - so what was the point of striving to learn…?”

“I was 18 and completing an electrician’s apprenticeship when I met a maths lecturer – Reg Dawkins – who was my salvation. [I am now 61, so the fact that I remember his name IS significant]. This man made mathematics ‘sing’ for me and, better late than never, I was hooked on learning.”

“Perhaps the fact that I was working on high voltage systems and needed to accurately calculate electro- technology factors to avoid a buzz in cable and fingers was another motivator, but, at last, I saw the justification for learning. I WAS A FAILURE NO MORE !Hence, I am ‘a late-developer’, which is a euphemism for ‘a lazy boy at school’ or, perhaps more likely, someone who has not been ‘educationally switched on’ ! ”

“Do you know someone like that…?”

“It was predominantly for those feelings that after graduating in engineering I later became a teacher – a maths teacher, of course - so that I could fire the imaginations and minds of children with a love of maths …and of learning, too.”

“To really answer the question - in turn, I discovered that I possessed the academic ability to successfully achieve in tests and national examination standards to distinction at degree level […and later to post-graduate level]. With that fresh confidence and a certain level of bloody-mindedness my career developed with an early promotional appointment as Head of Mathematics Department and further promotion to Head of Sixth Form, both in a ‘new’ non-selective school, developing from scratch and then to senior Deputy Headmaster of a large and successful comprehensive school.”

“Note - ‘non-selective’ and ‘comprehensive school’s – with no selection by ‘ability’ at 11-years-of-age, which gave all children, especially the ‘late developers’ a chance to ‘catch up’ and improve.”

“It was then at the age of 39, coupled with a real determination to rid myself of the ‘chip on my shoulder’ I had been given as a child, that I took the Mensa test, perhaps aggressively, to finally ‘prove them wrong’ and ‘because it was there’ and found that I had a significantly high IQ.”

In the next article in the series, Ray decribes the 3 most significant ways that having a high IQ has affected his life.

Download the entire series in pdf format now.

More Insights From Ray Hobby

Is EQ Old or New?
Is EQ Old or New?, Part 2

More Resources

Enjoy Steve Olsen’s Understanding Intelligence-Best Resources List

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Flickr Photo Credit:aeu04117.
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Ray Hobby, my online friend and fellow EQ fan from England shared his personal experience about how he seeks to balance his high IQ with his EQ.

Here’s how Ray introduced his answers to my 5 questions.

” Hi Galba
Here are ‘my answers’ to 5 questions for the forthcoming series.

The preamble…
I feel it is a compliment to be asked to give a response for the ‘Me and My High IQ’ series, but it is also quite a heavy responsibility. I am a member of Mensa, which simply […?] means that you have to attain an IQ score above 148 in the very demanding Cattell supervised test. In a ‘normal distribution’ that statistically defines the top 2% of the population and my score is significantly above that.

I have been psychometricated in various tests during my career. I use the term ‘psychometricated’ as a humorous outlet, since I could have glibly said ‘decimated’ when I really meant something more like ‘micromated’. Suffice it to say that I have subjected myself – willingly - to psychometric inspection in an attempt to gain information about ‘me’. The ‘results’ from these ‘tests’ have indicated some consensus, although they vary in conclusion and recommendation from ‘good’ to ‘ridiculous’.

In reality this means that if ‘I agree’, they are ‘good’ and if I ‘do not agree’, they are ridiculous. That may sound flippant, but for me [and any other responsible IQ or EQ testee] that HAS to be ‘a reality’, otherwise the ’result’ appears omnipotent …and it is FAR from that. It is for this reason that now after 30 years of involvement in ‘IQ testing’ and over 10 years involvement in ‘EQ testing’ a single figure covertly ‘stamped on your bottom’ or overtly ‘stamped on your head’ resulting from these tests is almost meaningless and potentially dangerously misleading.

To put that comparability into perspective we do well to consider Howard Gardner’s ‘Multiple Intelligences’. I leave it to the reader to find more detail of this for themselves, since it is not directly part of the scope of this series, but suffice it to say that Gardner has defined 8 forms of Intelligence. IQ or Intellectual intelligence is generally made up of verbal/linguistic intelligence, logical/mathematical intelligence and a bit of spatial intelligence. EQ or Emotional Intelligence is made up of interpersonal intelligence and intrapersonal intelligence. This therefore suggests that any test under these credentials is therefore bound to be incomplete, since no account is taken of the – musical, kinaesthetic, environmental [or the later inclusion of spiritual] intelligences.

This understanding [I won’t say ‘conclusion’ because I’m still (and always will be) thinking about it] has been arrived at after some sustained research, collation and reading, together with some stimulating discussion with people who work in the relevant areas.
It is, however, the reason why I hold very dear that a counsellor / coach / mentor or ‘consultant friend’ - properly informed and aware of the importance of applied Emotional Intelligence – can be far better than ‘a processed test’ in the hands of a ‘mechanic’. It may well be that the topics in the tests may form an agenda for an honest and searching discussion, but they can be handled differently …and, I believe, more appropriately.”

The 6 remaining articles in this series will be posted during the next 4 weeks. Leave your comments in the comment box below, or email me, using the contact form.

Download the entire series in pdf format now.

More Insights From Ray Hobby

Is EQ Old or New?
Is EQ Old or New?, Part 2

Tune up your EQ Tip:

Get in touch with yourself by reflecting on your eexperiences.

More Resources

Enjoy Steve Olsen’s Understanding Intelligence-Best Resources List

View this slideshow about Howard Gardner and Multiple Intelligence

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