Tune up your EQ

If a Mensa member shared his top tip for helping you make the most of your IQ, would you want to know more?

Tune your EQ reader, Ray Hobby’s revelation is unusual. It’s sure to get you thinking. He also explains exactly what an emotional intelligence coach CAN’T do for you. Finally, Ray warns why you must approach the results of Emotional Intelligence assessments carefully.

Be sure to read this article at least twice. It’s well worth bookmarking as well. There are lots of valuable insights to help you improve your quality of life .

Flickr Photo Credit:aeu04117.
Creative Commons Attribution License

Ray’s Top Tip

“Perhaps the only tip I would risk offering to anyone is embodied in all the foregoing – as an intrinsic component in ALL that I now do professionally.”

Please – Please – THINK about your situation – no one can do that for you, not even the ‘best’ coach […whoever and whatever s/he is]. “

” A ‘good’ coach will NOT provide all your answers to all of your problems, but s/he may ask [some of] the right questions to enable you to find ‘a route’ so that you find your own answers.”

“With integrity you will then be able to find some of the other questions to facilitate the route so you can find more “about your [real] self.”

“Interestingly, as I have already said, it is important to recognise that IQ levels are not the full story …BUT the use of the word ‘integrity’ is so very important.”

“IQ tests – particularly the best [Cattell and Wechsler, for instance] - are so well structured [after some 80 years or so of development] that they are not easy to fool or fiddle. The IQ value is usually pretty accurate and taken from the content – you either know a synonym or an antonym …or you don’t - or follow a syllogistic link …or you can’t. So, an IQ number ‘suggests’ a level of intellectual intelligence.”

“EQ tests, however, can, to a certain extent, be fooled …unless they have a very strong 360 contribution from colleagues and close associates. (Ray’s argument is that a more reliable assessment includes the observations of other people, rather than relying on the information that the person being assessedprovides) . If you say that you help other people, for instance, when in reality you don’t care at all, then you will have an EQ rating that is not deserved, earned or realistic. “

“In consequence no genuine, personal development can take place. The questions examine your self knowledge and social relationships in various categories.”

Ray’s Provocative Closing Statement

“An EQ number, as an end result, is therefore meaningless, since it is the further consideration of the components that provide the basis for personal development and improvement.”

So Ray says that if you want to make the most of your IQ, you must THINK.

Could Ray’s tip help you make the most of your IQ?

How do feel about what Ray says about emotional intelligence coaching and assessment?

Ray believes that a good coach can help you by asking the right emotional intelligence questions.

Read my 13 Emotional Intelligence Questions Every Leader Should Ask guest post 4 part series for Steve Roesler’s All Things Workplace Blog.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

Download The 13 Emotional Intelligence Questions Every Leader Must Ask in pdf format

This is the sixth article in the interview series between Ray Hobby and myself. In the next article, Ray explains why Emotional Intelligence is important.

Download the entire 5 question interview series with Ray Hobby in pdf format.

More Insights From Ray Hobby

Is EQ Old or New?
Is EQ Old or New?, Part 2

More Resources

Enjoy Steve Olsen’s Understanding Intelligence-Best Resources List

Popularity: 42% [?]

Every week, I write 3 original articles that help you improve your Emotional Intelligence. If you're new here, feel free to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

What is the most successful meeting that you’ve ever attended?

What is the most successful meeting that you’ve ever led?

What factor led to the success?

This month’s BrightIdeas presentation was sparked by Dr. Ellen Weber’s question:

“If you were to open a day long conference Galba, to help leaders use their brains in new ways - how would you open with empathy?”

Here’s my answer.

I wonder how it makes you feel? Leave a comment in the comment box below, or email me, using the contact form.

Download The Presentation In pdf format

Leave you comment in the comment box below, or email me using the contact form

Whose Meeting Is It Anyway?

Leading marketing and business strategy writer, The posture of a communicator> Seth Godin recently said:

“If you attend my presentation and you’re bored, that’s my failure. If you are a student in my class and you don’t learn what I’m teaching, I’ve let you down.”

Read his thoughts on The posture of a communicator.

More Resources

To enjoy successfully create emotionally intelligent meetings, read these articles

5 Emotionally Intelligent Retreat Tips

13 More Tips For An Emotionally Intelligent Retreat

9 Commandments For An Emotionally Intelligent Facilitator

3 Fears That Cripple Retreats

I publish a free BrightIdeas presentation in the third week of every month. It’s part of the full feed that you can subscribe to here To subscribe to the exclusive BrightIdeas Presentation feed click here

Popularity: 46% [?]

How are you’re New Year Resolutions going? You’re committed to making 2008 your best year ever. Yet you know that people will try to provoke you. Now’s the time to act with initative Step back in time and take a quick lesson in emotional management from the French novelist, Alexandre Dumas.

Back in the 1800s, Dumas’ quarrel with a rising young politician became so intense that they agreed to settle it with a duel. Both men were superb marksmen, so they decided to draw lots. The loser would shoot himself.

Dumas lost.

Pistol in hand, he slowly withdrew in silent dignity to the drawing room. He bade his friends a solemn “good bye” and closed the door behind him. The rest of the company waited in gloomy suspense for the sound of the shot that would end Dumas’ life.

At last, the pistol shot rang out. The crowd rushed to the door. They tore it open. Amazingly, out strode Dumas, smoking revolver in hand. He said:

“Gentlemen, a most regrettable thing has happened……. I missed.”

Tune up your EQ Tip

Manage your emotions. Find fun ways to resolve emotional confrontations.

I wrote this article in response to Brian Clark’s Headline Remix Details Edition Challenge

Did you enjoy this article? Subscribe to Tune up your EQ

Add to Onlywire

Popularity: 30% [?]

“Emotions for me are in no way separate from intellect…They enhance the brain, though, only when we learn to wield them as resources and not leak them as deficits.”

Dr. Ellen Weber, Director MITA Brain Based Renewal Center, Rochester, New York.

Emotions + Intellect = Success

You know lots about the conventional planning tools. You’re familiar with goals, targets and to-do lists. Perhaps many of you are fans of productivity systems, like GTD.

These approaches are great, but you’re still lacking one crucial ingredient.

If you start without it, it will be like trying to drive your car when it’s running out of gas. It will splutter, lurch, wobble and eventually stall.

Yet if you arm yourself with this secret element, you’ll enjoy an exciting, rewarding journey. If you harness and consistently apply this amazing competency, I’m sure you’ll make 2008 your best year ever.

That special something is your emotional energy, your ability to manage your emotions. Treat it as a precious resource this year.

In How to Make 2008 Your Best Year Ever: 22 Energizing Emotional Intelligence Tips, I described some practical ways you can use your EQ to achieve your goals.

I suggested that you start by becoming clear about what you want to achieve. I encouraged you to review 17 Sayings About Success: Which One Moves You? as part of this journey.

The Make 2008 Great series helps you to integrate your emotional competencies with your rational tools, including your intellect. When you harmonise these gifts, you’ll make 2008 your best year ever.

View January’s BrightIdeas presentation, How To Make 2008 Your Best Year Ever By Managing Your Emotions and be sure to enjoy the journey for the rest of this series.

Download The How To Make 2008 Your Best Year Ever : 22 Energizing Emotional Intelligence Tips Sheet

Tune up your EQ Tip

A fool with with a Blackberry or a supercomputer is still a fool. There’s no point in upgrading your technology, unless you also invest time in managing your emotions.

Popularity: 18% [?]

Are you ready to make 2008 your best year ever? Have a look at these 17 sayings. Is there one that makes your heart beat faster than the others? Why does it resonate with you?

Download the 22 Emotional Intelligence Tips In pdf format

1. “Educated risks are the key to success.”

William Olsten

2. “Sweat plus sacrifice equals success.”

Charlie Finley

3. “Success or failure is often determined on the drawing board.”

Robert J. Mckain

4. “The secret to success is constancy to purpose.”

Benjamin Disraeli

5. “Success is the progressive realisation of a worthy goal or idea”

Earl Nightingale

6. “Success is the sweetest revenge.”

Vanessa Williams

7. My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure.”

Unknown

8. “Success comes in cans, failure in can’ts.”

Unknown

9. “Passion is the trigger of success.”

Unknown

10. “Here is the basic rule for winning success. Let’s mark it in the mind and remember it. The rule is: Success depends on the support of other people. The only hurdle between you and what you want to be is the support of other people.”

David J. Schwartz

11 “To guarantee success, act as if it was impossible to fail.

Dorothy Brande

12. “To recognize an opportunity and use it is the difference between success and failure.”

Unknown

13. successful people are not gifted; they just work hard, then succeed on purpose.”

G.K. Nelson

14. “You can never have real success till you meet the real person — YOU.”

Unknown

15. “Success, in my view, is the willingness to strive for something you really want. The person not reaching the top is no less a success than the one who achieved it, if they both sweated blood, sweat and tears and overcame obstacles and fears. The failure to be perfect does not mean you’re not a success.”

Unknown

16. “My mother drew a distinction between achievement and success. She said that achievement is the knowledge that you have studied and worked hard and done the best that is in you. Success is being praised by others. That is nice but not as important or satisfying. Always aim for achievement and forget about success.”

Helen Hayes

17. “Success on any major scale requires you to accept responsibility. In the final analysis, the only quality that all successful people have is the ability to take on responsibility.”

Michael Korda

To make 2008 your best year ever here are 3 things you must do before you make any New Year Resolutions:

1. Get a clear picture about what success means to you.

2. Build on this clarity to define meaningful, motivating goals.

3. Leave scope in your planning for unintentended consequences.

In a follow up article, I’ll share how I successfully followed these 3 steps during 2007 as I worked to develop Tune up your EQ.

2 Questions For You

What’s your definition of success?

How will it guide you in 2008?

Leave a comment in the comment box, or email me, using the contact form.

Download the 22 Emotional Intelligence Tips In pdf format

Tune up your EQ Tip

You rely on your self awareness when you choose a clear definition of success. The best way to start improving your emotional intelligence is to increase your self awareness. Your definition of success is a reflection of your core values.

Add to Onlywire

Popularity: 30% [?]