Tune up your EQ

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“Transformation is a funny thing, we become radically different, through a long process of changing ourselves from the inside out. Even though it looks like today you saw somebody and they look completely different tomorrow, that’s rarely what transformation is about.”

Galba Bright in a radio interview with Andrea Williams-Green, January 2006

The Inspiration Academy’s quick fix of the latest CDs, DVDs, books and mp3s look TOO ENTICING to ignore. You can become a brand new you without too much effort. All it takes is some cash and some of your time. You can have your cake and eat it.

But will the Inspiration Academy give you long lasting results that will “stick”? I’m not so sure.

I do know that if you follow these 4 little known steps you’ll achieve a positive transformation. Can I walk you through them?

1. Manage your emotions and transform yourself

Have you ever embarked on a personal transformation for purely logical reasons?

Even if you did, it’s unlikely that you’ll sustain yourself on your journey unless you have a deep emotional investment in your goal or outcome.

That’s why your EQ, your ability to consciously integrate how you think, feel and act, is such a powerful transformational tool.

2. Accept that personal transformation is a discontinuous process.

Once you make the commitment to transform yourself, many of the final results and outcomes will be beyond your control. When you transform yourself, you transform your relationships with others, for example, you may lose or gain friends, associates etc.

Sometimes your transformation brings a trailor load of changes all at once, like the proverbial queue of London buses. At other times, your deep commitment to personal transformation incubates for years and finally manifests itself as a “surprise.”

3. Reflect on what you’ve learned to deepen your transformation

When you step back and reflect on your personal transformation, you begin to understand that your world is somewhat chaotic, and that you must commit to live in the moment, without too much concern about what happened in the past, or what tomorrow will bring.

You’ll realise that you are actually in control of very little. It’s your focus on what you consider to be under your control and most important to you that enables you to achieve a transformation.

When you accept that transformation is a process, not an event, you’re free to become more curious. You’ll quickly learn more about yourself and others and you’ll be able to make the most of what you’ve learned. Discontinuity can be scary and exciting.

4. Enjoy the journey, bumps and all

If you make a deep commitment to personal transformation, your journey will continue for the rest of your life. At the end you may have reached a very different place than what you originally intended when you started out your exciting, discomfiting, uncertain and ultimately fulfilling journey.

More Resources

Download Galba Bright’s 7 Laws Of Emotional Intelligence in pdf format

and get some solid, practical guidance along the way.

Learn 5 more simple, fundamental steps.

Aim to apply3 simple phrases to all aspects of your life.

I’d love to know your thoughts, feelings and experiences about your transformation(s).

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Every week, I write 3 original articles that help you improve your Emotional Intelligence. If you're new here, feel free to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

7 laws of emotional intelligence learning managing yourself transformation wisdom

If you’ve not read my 7 Laws of Emotional Intelligence, or if you want a quick refresher, here are the links.

Law #1: I am responsible for my own feelings.
Law #2: I am responsible for my own behaviour
Law #3: I always have choices about how I respond to situations, events and people.
Law #4: No-one can make me upset, angry, happy etc.
Law #5: Identifying my choices empowers me to take fresh look at my behaviour.
Law # 6: Recognising my range of choices is an excellent way to start changing my behaviour for the better.
Law# 7: I can practice and learn new and more effective behaviours.

Download Galba Bright’s 7 Laws of emotional Intelligence.

An Exciting Opportunity

Your best friend gives you his gleaming bottle green Lamborghini to use for theweekend whilst he’s away on a business trip. He tosses you the keys and tells you that you can go anywhere, as long as you return the car with a full tank of gas.

Your imagination runs wild…your options are limitless. You mind conjures up that trip to Las Vegas that you promised yourself so long ago…maybe Paris isn’t so far away after all..your grey matter is running wild.You career through hundreds of fantastic imaginary journeys, yet, moment by moment, the weekend slips gently by. It’s late on Sunday.

You’re weary ..you’ve been nowhere.

Monday morning eases its way in. Mournful, dejected and confused, you give your friend back his keys. You didn’t even drive the car out of the garage.

What can you learn from this weekend of woe?

7 Laws of Emotional Intelligence

Nowaday’s there’s an abundance of information that you can use to transform yourself, but first, you must get involved.

Here are 5 ways I use my 7 Laws of Emotional Intelligence.

1.Display a graphical representation on my office wall as a constant reminder.

2.Review my behaviour against the Laws when I get off track

3.Actively appply the Laws in everything that I think, say and do

4. Encourage others to follow the Laws when I deliver Learning Programmes and coaching sessions or give radio interviews.

5. Muse about the feedback that I get from Tune up your EQ readers like Brigitt Hoo Sang Ellen Weber Lennox Deane MT of Mind Tweaks Ray Hobby,Tanika Williams, Jason and Yulia

Enough about me, what about you?

Do you use Galba Bright’s 7 Laws of Emotional Intelligence?

If you do, how do you use them?

Download Galba Bright’s 7 Laws Of Emotional Intelligence in pdf format

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In the Top 8 Tools For Reflection series, 8 Tune up your EQ readers help you grasp the essence of EQ.

Manchild, from the When Least Expected Blog explains why you must take personal responsibility for your life.

A Question For You

1. How do you feel about Manchild’s words?

Galba Bright’s 7 Laws of Emotional Intelligence
My 7 Laws of Emotional Intelligence aim to clear away the EQ clutter of books, tapes, CDs and DVDs, so you can focus on the bottom line of exactly what you need to do to live an emotionallly intelligent life.

Download Galba Bright’s 7 Laws of Emotional Intelligence

Read the 7 Laws of Emotional Intelligence Article Series
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An Attitude of Gratitude

I’m really grateful for that people that I love and care for are still around after Hurricane Dean. I empathise with everyone who has experienced loss as a result of Dean’s invasion.

I feel moved to ask whether my 7 Laws of Emotional Intelligence could help us triumph over the Hurricane.

The 7 Laws help you to recognise that your feelings and emotions are powerful. You become more effective in situations when you learn and apply practical ways to manage them.

Ideally, they will help you to avoid automatic responses to stimuli. However, in the midst of a hurricane, this is a real challenge, as this graphic shows.

Hurricane Dean versus The 7 Laws Of Emotional Intelligence

Let’s look at each of the 7 Laws.

Law #1: I am responsible for my own feelings.

In order to be responsible, you must first recognise your feelings.

Hurricane Dean affects everyone, often in extremely tragic ways. Some people lost their life or loved ones, many lost their homes, their crops, their property, their animals, their pets. Nearly everyone lost their sense of comfort.

Even if you haven’t experienced a loss, your feelings are affected when you hear and see news reports of the devastation that other people have suffered.

Law #1 encourages you to recognise what you are feeling, for example, anger, bewilderment, shame, frustration, grief,horror and so on. You don’t need to use pretty words, but you must find a way to express how you are feeling. Some people cry, others bawl out, some play music, be it gospelor reggae (Bob Marley often features strongly), others play dominos, others stay in touch by telephone or cleave to loved ones or neighbours.

Prayer and meditation work for many people. Some write or read poetry or their Bible.

Law #2: I am responsible for my own behaviour

Find a way to express how you feel. Being emotionally upset and even traumatised is a natural reaction to surviving a potentially catastrophic natural disaster.

You are a unique individual and you’ll express your anguish in a unique way.

Psychologists warn that we experience loss in 4 stages;
1. denial
2. questioning
3. acceptance and
4. recovery.

Each of us progresses through these stages at different rates. These strong feelings can continue to affect you long after the hurricane has passed. It may help if you recognise that these feelings are a natural part of the grieving process.

Law #3: I always have choices about how I respond to situations, events and people.

Recognise that those around you may respond very differently to the hurricane. Encourage them to express how they feel,as long as they are not harming you or others. Don’t get caught up in thinking that their behaviour is odd. A hurricane is an abnormal event.

Don’t add to your stress by being intolerant of those around you. Your ability to empathise will help you to pull through whatever the circumstances.

Take special care with your children and young people in your care. They will often be really terrified. Encourage them to express their emotions, maybe they will want to talk or draw pictures about the experience during or after the hurricane.

Law #4: No-one can make me upset, angry, happy etc.

Hurricane Dean had the potential to cut a huge swathe out of your life. It’s realistic to recognise that it has a tremendous impact on you emotionally.

Law #5: Identifying my choices empowers me to take fresh look at my behaviour.

We’re humbled by Hurricane Dean’s mighty power. The Hurricane locked down Jamaica and we are only slowly crawling back to normal. Accept your limitations. You can’t have regular hot baths,you can’t eat exactly what you want, you can’t watch your favourite TV show.

You can’t work as efficiently as normal.

Yet somehow, mysteriously, the world still turns.

You’ll raise your stress levels if you harbour unrealistic expectations of what you can do.

Clearly identify the things that you have no control over and separate out the things that you can influence.

Law # 6: Recognising my range of choices is an excellent way to start changing my behaviour for the better.

Now that you’ve separated these two areas,focus on the things that you can influence and start to take step by step action. Listen to the radio and get weather updates, share the crops that have fallen from your trees with your neighbour, make sure that everyone around you is safe, seek help from your pastor. As you take these small steps, your confidence will gradually increase.

Stand firm and keep your spirits up.

Law# 7: I can practice and learn new and more effective behaviours.

As time goes by, the meaning that you attach to Hurricane Dean may change. Many people now compare Hurricane Dean with Hurricanes Gilbert and Ivan that terrorised Jamaica in the past. They have accepted those past experiences and attached a meaning to them.

They would certainly have preferred that those hurricanes didn’t hit them, yet because they’ve accepted the experience,they can learn from them.

You can attach a positive meaning to your experience by telling stories,writing about your experiences, talking with a trusted friend or helping others.

Your past experiences of Hurricanes are resources that you can use to make yourself stronger.

Jamaican broadcaster Andrea Williams-Green recalled how her mother made sure that all her family’s documents were secured in a plastic container before Hurrican Gilbert struck. Andrea
told this story on her show on the Sunday before Hurricane Dean lashed Jamaica. I’m sure that many people followed her advice and saved their documents as a result.

Life is here to teach us things.

Hurrican Dean has pitched us into a crises. The Caribbean hurricane season has just begun. Your resilience may be tested again soon. If you learn from your experience, we can move forward and deal with whatever comes your way. You’ve done it before, step by step and in faith and you can do it again.

The 7 Laws don’t an insure you against a disaster, however I encourage you to accept that how you feel and react to the hurricane is under your control.

Express your feelings, help others to express their emotions, accept the aspects of the disaster that aren’t within your control and work step by step on the aspects that you can affect, learn from the experience and progress, step by step towards a better future.

If you found this article helpful, go ahead and distribute it to anyone you feel would benefit.

Download How To Beat Hurricane Dean: 10 Emotional Intelligence Tips Presentation.

Feel free to copy these documents and distribute them to anyone you feel will find them helpful.

Download Galba Bright’s 7 Laws of Emotional Intelligence

Read Barrington Brennen’s account of his emotions after Hurricane Francis.

The excellent Brains on Purpose Blog contains some great links to articles that help you understand why labelling your feelings is such a powerful tool for managing yourself.

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The 7 Laws Series
I’ve given a lot of thought to the ideas and suggestions that you’ve made regarding the 7th Law of Emotional Intelligence.

Before I share my thoughts, I want to remind us that the purpose of the 7 Laws is to steer us safey through the perils of an Emotional Intelligence overload. If we focus on Read the rest of this entry »

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