Tune up your EQ

“There is a place for people who are angry and defiant and sometimes they serve a purpose, but that’s never been my role. …..Put simply, I’ve learned that I must find positive outlets for anger or it will destroy me. There is a certain anger: it reaches such intensity that to express it fully would require homicidal rage-self-destructive on my part-real-destructive, destroy the world rage-and its flame burns because the world is so unjust. I have to find a way to channel that anger to the positive, and the highest positive is forgiveness”

Sidney Poitier, “The Measure Of A Man, A Spiritual Autobiography”

Why You Must Manage Your Emotions

Your EQ Hot Spots happen when you risk letting your emotions be the sole driver of your actions, for example when you are overpowered by fear, or when your over-optimism blinds you to obvious risks.

When you handle them effectively, you empower yourself

How I Learned About EQ Hot Spots

I remember in England in the early 1990s, I was training some managers. The course went well, however one or two participants were very hostile.

At the end of the course, I asked each manager for their feedback. One manager (we’ll call him Derek) made some very critical personal comments. My impulse was to fly across the room and give Derek a good smack in the face! Somehow I held that urge down. Next, I heard a voice saying:

“Thanks for your feedback, Derek. I will think on what you said.”

I span around to see who had spoken, and was shocked that there was no-one there.

These wise words had come from my own mouth!

My next feelings came tumbling out:

“What kind of coward are you ? Are you really going to stand for that? Go ahead and give Derek a smack!!”

Afterwards, lying in a relaxing bath, I struggled to make my peace with how and why I had remained outwardly calm.

I now treasure this EQ Hot Spot and how I responded to it.

It was a turning point in my working life. I’m sure that if I’d have gone on the helter skelter to violence, I wouldn’t be pursuing the vocation that I enjoy today.

I’d probably be rotting in prison in England.

When you master your emotions, you’re well on your way to taking positive action in many areas of your life.

In part 2 of this series, I’ll share 5 questions that you must ask if you’re to successfully manage your emotions.

A Question For You

How Do You Deal With Your EQ Hot Spots?

Tune Up Your Emotional Intelligence Workbook

This article is based on a chapter from my no-cost Workbook. If you found it helpful, download your copy today and increase your Emotional Intelligence.

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Every week, I write 3 original articles that help you improve your Emotional Intelligence. If you're new here, feel free to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

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