A popular hobby for many people is researching their lineage through ancestry DNA testing. This can be a fun way to learn about your family history and origins. Most people start this journey out of general curiosity with no specific information they are trying to find out. What people are finding out is that more often than not there is some unexpected information that shows up in these ancestry reports that can turn a persons known world upside down.
When a sibling finds out they have a brother or a sister neither of their parents told them about it can be traumatizing. Everything you think you know about your family is now untrue. It can feel like the ground beneath you is no longer there.
But what to do with this new information? Obviously there are secrets being kept and lies being told. Some of the questions to navigate are will questioning your parents about this other sibling hurt any innocent parties? Will it cause a family to break apart amid infidelity accusations? Will the shared DNA parent and their side of the family want to meet you or do they want to still keep it secret? If they do want to still keep things secret will that make you feel rejected by them? Is that something you can handle?
Every situation will be unique and there is no right way to navigate what to do with the information. Just know that with the truth comes a lot of responsibility of what to do with the truth. It may bring a lot of joy to meet your new sibling but it may also be anxiety causing. Deciding whether or not introducing them to your current family is beneficial or will the pain and destruction not be worth it is a tough choice.
Some siblings have become estranged with the parent that raised them over being lied to, other parents have become detached from children they thought were theirs only to discover they aren’t and other situations of being confronted with the truth has made relationships stronger in the end. There is no way of knowing how it will all turn out but this author’s advice is to follow your gut knowing or inner guidance on what to do. It may not turn out the way you might expect but trust that your gut will serve your highest interests in the end.